Marriage

 Oh now you think, Lisi is getting into serious subjects…

How to speak about marriage without getting sentimental, sceptical, cynical(?), over romantic etc…I’ll see how I’ll manage,

Well tomorrow Tho and me have our 41^st wedding anniversary! I will only arrive (if all goes well) on the 25^th in Bhutan, so almost in time to celebrate together,

I will arrive one day late because I wanted to attend Quangs wedding here in Hue today on the 23^rd.

Already yesterday we were invited to Khoi’s wedding, our young architect…it is marrying time and probably an auspicious date!

Today we all went with Quang to his then, still future wife’s house, to have the family celebration in her home,

There was another wedding taking place just at the same time in the same alley, just two houses apart.

We almost joined the wrong wedding party!!!!(just joking!)

I have attended quite a few wedding parties in Vietnam.

There is first an intimate part (30 people or so) in the family with wedding vows in front of the parents, ancestors and family,

Gifts are exchanged, traditional vows and wishes expressed, and usually a big lacquered pig is presented on a plate (!)

At Tho and my wedding we were already vegetarians. We had strictly vegetarian food and NO wine or any alcohol…In our case we would have brought lot’s of carrots, vegetables rice…hmmmmm on a plate!

And then later there is a HUGE wedding party (when I say huge I mean huge, 300-to 500 people is normal!) with family and friends in a restaurant.

The intimate celebration is quite touching, as the two families meet in front of the ancestor altar, to present the new couple to the ancestors.

There are no monks, or priest just close family and close friends,

We all know a couple never is just the matter of 2 people! Two “worlds”, two families, common friends…later children, grandchildren meet, come into life through a couple.

Their happiness (or pain) influences the happiness of many people!

The HUGE party is quite a SHOW! Blasting music!!! Glitters falling from the ceiling, incredible decorations, hearts everywhere, champagne in overflowing cups, Karaoke,

Just incredible and sooooo loud!

There is a frantic rhythm of food being served quickly, one animation after the other,

 I was the only yellow haired person (meaning: westerner) yesterday at the 500 people party. I was so afraid someone would have the great idea to convince me to sing a song in Karaoke style…luckily they forgot !

Tonight we attend the second part of Quang and Ly’s wedding…the HUGE party!

I wish them all the best for their marriage life!

Not one day could I imagine I was not married with Tho! What a blessing, what a joy and so much HAPPINESS!

Of course life is full of complications, contradictions and all this is part of a couple life, there is no sunshine without rain…as Thay always says: No mud, no lotus,

But all I know is that LOVE IS ALL THERE IS, LOVE IS ALL THAT REMAINS

I already said to Tho how can we make a sign or something like this, so that we recognize each other in the next life…and that we do not loose too much time looking for each other,

In this life we had quite a perfect timing. We met when I was twelve and Tho was fourteen,

I can be happy without Tho, Tho can be happy without me…but together it is so much better and so much more fun!

So how will we celebrate our 41^st wedding anniversary? With candle light, just the two of us?.......I guess this is not so much our style,

We celebrated last year in “Vietnamese style” our 40^th anniversary with 80 friends for 3 days in Chandolin in the swiss alps, It was a HUGE party and so wonderful!

We know that our family and friends are “part” of our couple .

Later we continued the celebration with 30 friends on a pilgrimage to India in the Footsteps of the Buddha…

So I guess we’ll spend the evening of the 25th with our plum village friends in Thimphu, with our new friends in Bhutan etc…and I am looking forward!

BIG HUG TO YOU

I must get ready and wear a nice AU DAI for tonight!